just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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