Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I have post one night stand depression
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
