I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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