the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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