i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
