did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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