just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
