my vag is so smooth its legendary
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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