It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
