Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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