smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
