All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
