u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
