It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
