Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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