well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
