We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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