whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
