I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
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