We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
