I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
