As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
