I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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