atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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