she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
