Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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