Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
