She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
How external is "for external use only"?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
