So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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