I hope mine doesn't look like that
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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