OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
too bad you live with your parents still
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
