there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
