I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
