he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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