The maid of honor just puked.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
