i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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