It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
