Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
