Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
