To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
