I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
