that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
oh god was she eating orange peels again
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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