I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
