We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
