just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
