that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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