ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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