At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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