I just pynch a tree in the face
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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