hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
