how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Vodka?
Forever.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
